The one who matters to me the most!!!

There have been times in my life when i have said very easily I need to get a life outside, be independent and especially considering the comparisons made I have used this phrase casually than ever "I don't ever want to be like my mother".

Denying it will not make it go away or change the fact in anyway that I am exactly like my mother in so many ways that one could say that I am her "XEROX" copy (or "CARBON" copy). Knowing her I know she has made her set of mistakes and I have very different opinions about many things but we have very similar traits. Well figures, she raised me that way!!!

She has been there for all my lows, stood besides me giving courage and strength to fight the world. Now, I know its every mother's job to do that but I really feel privileged that I am one of the lucky few people who had it their way. She has an amazing way of talking people into believing in the right things. We can talk to each other hours together about everything under the sun. She manages to imbibe a new thought in my head every time we have a conversation. Now achieving that is not an easy job. I know, I have tried!!!

She has been my source of inspiration forever. She always says that I am the reason she still wants to be alive. I never really understood what she meant. But whenever I see her in the eyes I instantly know that the same implies for me.

She has taught me to be independent, to stand on my feet and to believe in myself. She supports me in whatever I want. She sees all her dreams in me but has never till date burdened me with expectations. These qualities are very rare to find in parents.

And to say that I want to be away from her being her shadow, I can just imagine how hurt she feels. I just want her to trust me with what she taught me to be and let go off me. Or rather I want myself to be away from her because I know for sure that I am dependent on her for everything and I wouldn't be able to survive in her absence. Putting it on her is just the easy way out!!!

It is very easy to ignore the role of a mother in ones upbringing but the fact remains that without her my world would come to a standstill. Just letting her know what she means to me is something I keep forgetting to do always. I don't want to go ahead in my life regretting that once, at least once I should not have let the opportunity slip by to say:

I LOVE YOU MOM AND THAT I WOULD BE SATISFIED IN LIFE KNOWING I WAS CLOSE TO BEING WHAT YOU ARE!!!